5 Communication Traps that Make You Sound Condescending

…and how to avoid them.

“Some of my coworkers are so clueless,” a coaching client complained recently. “I get accused of being condescending when I explain things. How do I give them the info they need without sounding obnoxious? I’m not trying to be a jerk.”

If you have (or perhaps more importantly, if you think you have) more authority, experience, or knowledge than another person, it’s easy to slip into patronizing communication. Some people seem to enjoy belittling others, but for most of us, it happens unintentionally. Snarky voice patterns, poor breathing, assumptions, certain facial expressions, and your personal perspective can trip you up and send a condescending message. These behaviors, even when done inadvertently, damage rapport and raise barriers to understanding, tolerance, and cooperation. I mean, who likes to be talked down to? Ugh.

Here are some tips — verbal, nonverbal, and perceptional — to help you eradicate this off-putting trait from your conversations.

1. Watch your voice tone.

When you’re giving information or directives, it’s appropriate to use the Authoritative Voice Pattern: a flat voice that curls down at the ends of statements. However, many people, especially if they’re seeking…