5 Steps to (Re)Gain Your Composure

When you need to recover quickly, these five steps will get your brain and body back on track.

“I feel completely on edge around my boss,” my coaching client told me. “Soon after we started working together, she gave me really negative feedback. I want to improve our relationship, but I get anxious every time I meet with her. Now she is telling me I come across as defensive and insecure which doesn’t inspire much confidence in my leadership ability. I know I’m a capable leader. I always got good feedback before. But I feel completely knocked off my game and I every time I see her things just get worse.”

My client was caught in a never-ending loop: The negative feedback caused her to doubt herself, which made her nervous and agitated, which made her look even less competent to her supervisor, which led to more negative feedback…

Even the most self-assured person can get knocked off balance, literally or metaphorically. It can cause an entire season of uncertainty, as with my client, or it can be a temporary blip. Recently, I attended a conference in Michigan. Suddenly, during the presentation immediately before mine, alarm bells began ringing over the PA system and on everyone’s phones: Tornado Warning! (My first ever!) Chaos reigned for a second as everyone checked their phones and wondered what to do. But the speaker managed the…