Image for post
Image for post

What does your presence say about you? Or… do you even have “presence”? What do people mean by “presence,” anyway?

Your presence is simply how you show up nonverbally to others — how you present yourself.

You do actually have to present yourself to have Presence. I sent someone a “friend” request on Facebook awhile back and he jokingly told me, “I’m a Facebook stalker. I never like or comment on anything, but I see the posts.” He has no social media “presence” because you don’t know he’s there. You have to let yourself be seen and known to have…


Image for post
Image for post

Modesty is not humility. So, stop already. Here’s how to practice true humility and find confidence.

Maya Angelou once said,

“I have no patience with modesty. Modesty is a learned adaptation. You don’t want modesty. You want humility. Humility comes from the inside out.”

You can spot fake humility, sometimes known as “modesty,” a mile away. Modesty, like “being nice,” is an act people adopt in order to influence the opinions of others. …


“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” Winston Churchill

I will add: Wisdom is knowing when to do each.

Most people err to one side or the other. Some speak out easily, often, and authoritatively. Their voices are heard and they can change the world. Others, listen closely and carefully, enveloping others with their presence. They can change lives. If you are gifted with the boldness to speak out or the empathy to listen wholeheartedly, use those gifts!

Image for post
Image for post

Yet don’t turn your gifts into an excuse…


Image for post
Image for post

Nothing adds life to your conversations, presentations, and relationships like laughter. But humor can backfire. Here’s what to do and what to avoid.

Once, when I was about 13, I was trapped in the crossfire between my arguing parents. We were driving; I was in the front seat between them when the shouting started. I tried to shrink myself deeper and deeper into the seat cushions as their yelling got louder and more intense over my head. Soon, it turned into personal insults. My dad yelled “Bitch!” …


Image for post
Image for post

Bad habits can inhibit your ability to communicate confidence and presence. Here are five things to stop doing.

What are your nonverbal habits? Do you know?

Often with habits, you don’t even realize you’re doing them. They’re automatic and almost involuntary. You do them unconsciously because they make you feel better. Sometimes that’s good, like brushing your teeth to make your mouth feel clean. But sometimes the things you do to “feel better” aren’t actually good for you: picking your nails, lighting another cigarette, mindlessly scrolling social media. …


Image for post
Image for post

How to have more stability, connection, and vitality in 2021 regardless of what happens around you.

I typically look forward to the start of a new year. I love the sense of renewal. And after the holidays, I’m refreshed from the break and eager to plunge back into a routine.

Facing this upcoming year feels a bit different. <insert nervous laugh> I’m not sure what to expect and I feel a little gun shy about making goals and plans. Based on what I’m hearing from others, I know I’m not the only one who is hoping for better things in…


Image for post
Image for post
photo by mael balland

These behaviors are easy to fall into, especially when faced with fear, doubt, and loss. However, they amplify pain. Leave them behind to experience more peace and power in the upcoming year.

2020 is a year for the record books! Everyone experienced it differently. For some, it was a great year full of opportunities. For others, it was a year of loss upon loss. I’m somewhere in the middle. I experienced opportunity, joy, and many reasons for gratitude this year. I also experienced loss and grief.

As I look back over what I’ve learned and gained and lost and experienced…


Image for post
Image for post
photo by kim stiver

As I reflect upon the past year, I see how valuable and grounding these seven practices can be (when I actually do them).

Do you ever feel like you have to learn the same lessons over and over?

Yeah, me too. That’s life. Head knowledge isn’t expertise. Understanding isn’t skill. Information doesn’t automatically translate to experience, wisdom, or a life well lived. You have to actually Do The Things. You practice, make mistakes, forget, start again, and each time the knowledge becomes less in your head and more in your heart, your gut, your very bones.


Image for post
Image for post
photo by andrea piacquadio

In general, listen more than you speak… unless you’re in one of these five situations.

I’m a huge proponent of good listening skills. Listening is vital for building rapport and creating connection, not to mention understanding people, gaining perspective, and learning new things. All wonderful, right?

Giving another person your time and full attention speaks volumes, especially in a society where distractions and the relentless pursuit of “more” keep us feeling a scarcity of both. We are losing basic conversation skills, including how to listen, especially this year when in-person interactions are few and far between. Not that we’re good…


Image for post
Image for post

If you see these six traits or behaviors, you’re not looking at a true leader.

In this rollercoaster of a year, we need strong, effective leaders more than ever.

Just because someone has a leadership position or role or title doesn’t mean they can lead. Winning a popularity contest is not leadership. Bullying is not leadership. Having the power to boss people around is not leadership. On the contrary, good leaders envision a future that is good for themselves and others, then cultivate the skills to not only get there themselves, but bring others along with them.

That is, frankly…

Rachel Beohm

Lover and learner of relationship skills, communication (especially nonverbal), and how to live a full life. Promoter of kindness, gratitude, and joy.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store