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How to Make Real Connections
In this digital, virtual age, we need human connection more than ever. But we’ve lost the skills that lead to connection.
Not that long ago, artificial intelligence only existed in sci-fi films; now it’s a part of everyday life. And it’s not only impacting how you shop, drive, and keep in touch with people, but also your job. There are some dire predictions out there about how many jobs will be lost to automation in the next 10 years. And even if your job won’t be replaced by a machine, automation has already dramatically changed the way you work today compared to 10 years ago (as Janet Salm at the Strada Institute for the Future of Work recently pointed out to me).
There is one thing, though, that a machine can never replace: your humanity. By definition, A.I. is artificial; only real human beings can be real human beings.
The problem is we’ve gotten really good at being fake human beings.
Our social media culture, of course, contributes. Maybe you’ve seen some of the articles on how technology hurts us. Teenagers nowadays experience increased depression, anxiety, poor body image, and loneliness due to social media and texting. We aren’t learning how to make and maintain friendships, how to read nonverbal cues, or even how to be genuine — skills we used to pick up naturally. Despite being more “connected” than ever, we experience more loneliness because the connections aren’t based on reality.
I’m not immune to these effects either! I can find myself wallowing in worry over what people think of me or my opinions or my lifestyle. Or expecting to be judged on my communication skills, since that’s what I do for a living. Or wondering if I’m measuring up to someone else’s definition of success.
All this comparing pulls us back from each other. Yet our ability to connect is the one thing we’ve got! It’s the one thing machine learning can’t replace or outdo. As a society, we are desperate for real connection with real human beings.
Being real takes courage. It also takes communication skills. Skills we’ve lost in recent generations. If you’re ready for real connection with real human beings, here are 7 things to start doing consistently:
