Listen with your eyes

With ears, you can hear. To listen, you need more than ears.

In a previous lifetime (aka high school), I took three years of American Sign Language. You know how many conversations I had using my ears? Or how many conversations I had where my back was turned? Zero. Obviously, you have to look when you’re communicating with hands and facial expressions. But that doesn’t just happen in sign language. Everyone does it! How much are you missing if you only use your ears?

Plus, your brain likes it when you provide visual information to corroborate what you’re hearing. And on top of all that, the person you’re talking with likes to know you’re listening, too. Unlike my cat’s ears, yours don’t twitch and turn to indicate that you’ve heard something. (If they do, I want video!) Your eyes are what prove you’re paying attention.

I’m not saying you need to make eye contact all the time or in every situation. Sometimes eye contact is too much — too personal, too much pressure, too relentless. But in general, your eyes give you information, help you pay attention, and demonstrate that you’re listening.

When someone is speaking to you, where are you looking? Your phone? Your work? The person on the other side of the room you’d rather be talking to?

Give your brain and your relationships a boost: Listen with your eyes.

I’m Rachel Beohm, a writer, speaker, and coach. Through nonverbal communication, I empower clients to show up as their biggest, boldest selves.

If you’d like practical tips on how to communicate leadership and increase your presence, get the FREE leadership presence guide I created to help you change your communication and your life.