This bad habit is ruining your relationships.

We all judge others. It makes you feel superior for a while. But it comes at a high price.

You’ve done it. I’ve done it. We all do it — we all sometimes pass judgment on others when their behavior (or anything else) isn’t up to snuff. Clothing choices, how people spend their free time, job skills, expressing emotion, wearing or not wearing a mask, the list of possible things to judge is endless.

You’ve been on the receiving end, too. While you may not consciously label them as such, you are familiar with nonverbals that convey judgment: pursed lips, raised eyebrows, crossed arms, tilting head to literally look down upon another, or a nose curled up in disgust or contempt.

Being judgmental, of course, is very different from making judgments. You have the right and responsibility to use discernment and make evaluations. Discernment and evaluations focus on using information to make wise decisions. Does this employee demonstrate the necessary skills for a promotion? Is this meeting a good use of my time? How would I have handled that difficult situation differently?

Being judgmental negatively focuses on other people so that you can feel better about yourself. I can’t believe that good-for-nothing employee thinks they could handle a promotion… There’s no way I’m wasting a half hour of my day…