What can you do today?

What makes you the most self-conscious?

I find the things that make people nervous are as varied and unique as people themselves. Something you are fine with makes another person anxious, and vice versa. For example, a friend of mind that I would describe as confident and self-assured was really nervous about having to dance in front of people at her wedding a few years ago. Her soon-to-be husband, on the other hand, couldn’t wait!

I’m fine with things like public speaking or going out to dinner or a movie alone, which many other people are uncomfortable with, but I discovered a fresh new source of self-consciousness yesterday. One of my daughters loves to throw a football around, and I’m all for anything that gets her off the couch, so I offered to play catch with her. The only problem was that instead of doing it in our fenced-in, private backyard, she wanted to do it in the front. Great. Not only could all our neighbors watch me flail and fumble and make a fool out of myself, but there’s a construction crew doing roadwork in our neighborhood this week. Fabulous. I only recently got to the point where I can actually catch the football some of the time!

I almost refused. But what kind of example would that set for my kids? I don’t want them to wait until they’re perfect at something to be willing to let people see them.

So, I did it. Surprisingly, no one mocked me. But even if they had, I don’t think I’d have cared. I was living according to my values: I bonded with my family, promoted physical activity, and pushed myself a little outside my comfort zone.

No matter how small the action, doing something that excites your self-consciousness makes you braver and more resilient. What’s a little thing you can do today to build those muscles?

Change your communication, change your life.

I’m Rachel Beohm, a writer, speaker, and coach. Through nonverbal communication, I empower clients to show up as their biggest, boldest selves.

If you’d like tips on how to do that yourself, sign up here for “21 Days to Build a Better Life.” It’s a FREE 3-week email coaching program that I wrote to help you change your communication and your life.