When to Avoid Eye Contact

You know you’re supposed to look people in the eye, but do you know when not to?

One of the most common “body language” tips out there is Look People in the Eye. Make eye contact! I have said it, too. Eye contact demonstrates that you are present and listening, it can show respect and empathy, it conveys confidence, and it can create connection and rapport. When you’re with another person, be sure to look them in the eye from time to time. On video, look at the camera.

However, like most things in life, there is a time and a place for eye contact. Except for star-crossed lovers in movies, no one stares into each other’s eyes 100% of the time. Staring is unwelcome and creepy! Precisely because eye contact invites a connection, it can feel invasive and even threatening when someone won’t stop looking at you. In conversations, aim to make eye contact about half the time.

Beyond that, though, there are times to actively avoid eye contact, believe it or not. Here are three times it’s best to take a break from looking people in the eye:

You don’t want to talk.

Maybe you’re tired. Maybe you’re in a hurry. Maybe you’re focused on getting an issue taken care of. I have written before about how I often use trips to the grocery store to practice claiming space with amazing results: strangers…