When Your Character & Behavior Aren’t Enough

Yes, lead by example! But there are times when your example is not enough…

One thing I’ve learned as a presenter, teacher, business owner, and parent is that being a good example doesn’t make you a good leader.

Don’t get me wrong: Being a good example is necessary. Vital, in fact. Human beings (including very young ones) are quick to notice incongruity. If there’s a discrepancy between what you say and what you do, they go with what you do. “I know you said to do XYZ… but you don’t do it yourself!” You can teach and preach all day long, but if you don’t practice what you preach you create distrust, resentment, and eventually, mutiny.

So, yes. Be a good example. But that’s not the same as teaching, training, or leading. It’s a quirk of human nature that you can very quickly and easily pick up someone else’s bad habits, behaviors, and attitudes. The good ones, though? Man, developing those takes WORK.

How many parents discover their kids are bullies or racist and say, “You never learned that from me!” Just because you, as a parent or supervisor or executive, model work ethic or inclusion or practice excellent communication skills doesn’t mean others will pick up those values or skills by osmosis. A good example is not enough.